I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
