my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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