My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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