i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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