What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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