maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
