I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
