THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
