This is not my ceiling
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
