I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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