you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
