I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
