Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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