New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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