Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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