Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
