Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize