i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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