im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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