I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize