i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
