Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just cropdusted the office
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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