I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
