fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Randomize
