Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
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