Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
