dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize