sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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