Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
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