Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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