I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
