hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
