I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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