i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize