The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
