Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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