i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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