you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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