I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
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My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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