Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
