tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Text me some of your sweat
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize