he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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