The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize