You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize