I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
