Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
