For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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