just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
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Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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