I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
