He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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