According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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