no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
