Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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