You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
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An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
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I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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