well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize