worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
