no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
